In front of me, eight women are sitting.
They gathered to learn how to resolve the irreconcilable differences, the conflicts
that we face.
A recipe is needed which would help each woman save the most precious thing. Family.
I work as a lawyer, for more than twenty years, I practice family law.
Now, I will reveal the secret based on my experience.
Everything is very simple:
Only I and nobody else has to solve all the problems which arise in my life…
And we start talking. About what is going on. . . now, in my family?
And we already hear:
— all is in vain,
— it’s better to live your own life,
— dedicate more time to yourself,
— spoiling too much,
— I try not to meddle in his (their) business,
— all the same, he won’t understand,
— and why should I?
— impossible to talk . . .
We tell our stories and see, the problem is only one: lack of understanding, inability, and unwillingness to come to an agreement and find the right joint solution.
And now, we have decided to imagine a family in which we are happy. How . . . is it?
Tanya, Esther, Lidochka talk hopelessly: about freedom, reliability, love, understanding, trust, acceptance, support, joy.
I look at their faces. I very much love each of them. A huge desire to help.
To let them find that force inside which can to bring their families to a new level.
We proceed to the third question, the most difficult one. What can I do right now for my family to be the way I want?
And my women became silent.
Before us, there is a wall through which we have not enough force to break in order to return to love and understanding.
Offences and powerlessness were recalled.
Tears came . . .
Constrained and dressed in ‘spacesuits.’ Insensible, proud, cold, and inflexible.
The mood in the group changed. The women, interrupting each other, started telling that they have tried everything: workshops, psychologists’ recommendations, depressants, conversations, quarrels, books, ‘retiring into oneself …’
Nothing works out.
Is there a solution at all?
With this eternal question, we make a break. Until tomorrow.
The women are lost.
I came back home.
It’s strange but I very much love this state in my women.
Deadlock.
But right from this point, we begin to understand that only my inner force can save me!
My love.
My willingness.
My belief that I can do anything.
I need to find this force inside me . . .
I couldn’t let them down. A precise instruction is needed: if we do so, it works.
And full stop!
I open the computer. Type: great women…, history…, prophetesses.
Women who found the unstoppable force within themselves.
Reversed the events. Directed armies, prevented the Pharaoh’s actions, inspired the nations, rescued the family and the people, knew, were able to wait and cancel themselves to achieve a purpose.
Hava, Miriam, Dvorah. The greatest prophetesses. Our progenitresses. Not just beautiful characters from ancient books.
The qualities of each one of them are ‘imprinted’ in us.
This is what we have already done.
Something that we know how to do.
Six thousand years ago…
We built the first families.
And at this moment in time, the first woman in our history appears.
Hava. She is the mother of all mankind.
And Hava discovered that between her and her husband the Serpent had crept in.
Egoism.
She saw that this was a disrepair.
Everyone with his own desire, with his personal interest.
And this discovery comes from the woman.
She sees a shortcoming.
The man doesn’t feel it. And in the woman, the stress accumulates. Step by step.
The man is puzzled: what’s going on with you? But everything was okay?
And in her, all this boiled up. . .
Hava demanded from Adam to be closer to her, more intimate, to care more for the family.
We see that a family means constant efforts.
Mutual obligations.
There is something above our ‘I want.’ Above our animal nature.
No matter what religion. The woman always determines from within what is called home.
The woman, it is the turning point.
Events are developing . . and here comes She.
Says: “Stop! Enough! It can’t be like this any longer!”
And the direction changes.
Here, we are helped out by our most striking qualities inherited from Miriam.
The most powerful female image in all history.
To be full of the force of love. To neighbours. To love them as yourself. To be intolerant of injustice.
Small five-year-old Miriam stood up to her full height before the Pharaoh and prophesied in his face: “That which you are afraid of and fear is what you will suffer from!”
(She wanted to keep the Pharaoh from treating severely newborn Hebrew boys.)
Even as a young girl, she wasn’t afraid to state her disagreement with her father’s deed when he separated from his wife.
She said: “You are worse than the Pharaoh! He only kills boys, and you kill both boys and girls!”
The father considered Miriam’s prophecy. And after his reunion with his wife, the great prophet Moses (Moshe) was born.
And then, Miriam interferes at the right time . . . and changes the course of events.
When the baby Moshe in the cradle was put in the river to escape the Pharaoh’s investigators, Miriam ran after her brother along the bank, through reed thickets.
She saw the Pharaoh’s daughter to find the boy.
And at this moment… Miriam leaves the hiding, appears at the centre of the action.
“Wouldn’t you like to hire a Hebrew woman to feed the baby?”
The Pharaoh’s daughter agreed!
Moshe was nursed by his own mother!
He became the leader of the people of Israel!
And we possess another Miriam’s quality.
Confidence and joy. Ability to feel the mood. To turn everyday events into celebrations. To guide and support the man, without competing with him.
To give a chance to the man to fly up!
There are examples of it in history.
The crossing of the Red Sea was finished.
To celebrate this victory, Miriam took a timbrel and the women followed her.
They danced and sang in joy! Because joy and confidence were what she could give them.
The force of love passed from Miriam on to all the women. This event is called exactly so —”the dance with timbrels.”
Women, appreciating the feats performed by men, danced their dance of love and admiration for their heroes!
It has always been like this. The woman acts modestly but very powerfully.

Behind each successful man, there is a woman who directs him, gives advice.

And without such a support, he can’t achieve success.
At one of the brightest moments in our history. . , standing before Mount Sinai, we were making a major choice:
Will we be able to rise above all our discords, problems, rejection of each other?
We, women, encircled men.…
Forced them: “You have to get organised as one family!”
Put pressure. Pushed to accept the conditions: “to be as one man with one heart.”
Otherwise…, we will perish.
The distribution is very precise.
The woman points out: here, the unity should be! A stronger connection should be.
And the man implements it.
And the whole problem is that we don’t know how to do it.
Here, a deep understanding is needed. A lot of subtlety. Coaching. And it also depends on the woman.
She feels the mood. She feels the desire. Knows the moment at which she can apply all her force.
This is give-and-take, following each other’s example.
To feel each other’s heart!
For instance, my husband loves football, and I love jazz. And I . . . join him in watching football.
And in this way, I express my love for him.
I set an example. Turn it into a celebration! And he understands that I do it for Him. And I so much rejoice together with him because He feels good.
I cancel myself. And he knows it. . .
And he does the same for me. (It’s very important.)
Understanding and respect for the desire of the other person. And it should be learned.
And the man…, he is ‘programmed’ so, his heart is ready to be under the guidance of the woman.
If there is the right communication between them, he feels the need.
There is no man who wouldn’t do it. It’s Nature.
The man, he is like a big kid. Stands, and doesn’t know. . . what mom wants of him?
It must be understood. There should be a very good understanding of that all the needs come from the woman.
So we see it in our life. Mom demands from us. Mom teaches. Puts pressure upon us.
From her, we get the Higher force. Glow. Confidence.
She gives birth and provides for. Feeds and supports.
All the way begins with the mother.
The man and the woman — this combination is very important. Subtle.
They integrate and supplement each other.
Only in the right connection between them, the course of life develops.
And vice versa, if there is no this course, then there is no life either . . .
And everything that life realises, is the woman.
This is the desire of the woman.
She wants a family. She wants to give birth. Wants to be a mother.
And this desire determines the entire human race.
The man implements. And we see it in our history.
Now, having revealed all these qualities which we have inside us, I feel inside me this great force and joy.
Joy and confidence because I can pass on to women my desire. Enable them to find these inner qualities.
Because I‘m led by Love, Knowledge, and Nature.
And we have no other choice.
After our meeting, we left inspired.
In addition to feeling the rightness of that work which the woman has to do in her family, there is also a sense of a huge force between us which is able to awaken, reveal a huge potential inside us.
And we will be able to confidently, lovingly, patiently, with great respect for men give them an impulse in our joint dance called life. 

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Iskra Dolina
Iskra Dolina has dedicated nearly three decades to the profession of law and has seen numerous examples when people ruined their own lives and the lives of their nearest and dearest by their own hands. However, from the very beginning of her career, she knew that everyone had a spiritual spark and it’s important to discover it at the right time and let it develop. At present, Iskra conducts training sessions and seminars that help people restore harmony in relationships and make a transition from an existence full of tragedies to the perception of life as a pleasant journey. Author website: www.iskradoline.com

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