God was waiting for me in the middle of the road.
“Hello, Jewish soul”, he said.
“You are mistaken, I’m not Jewish,” I laughed.
“I’m God”, He said. “I don’t make mistakes”.
“Well, perhaps you are just misinformed?”
“Impossible.”
“But take a look at my ancestors! Many generations of the Norse on my mother’s side and not a hint of Jewish presence on my father’s side either.”
“You are the first one in your family.”
“Impossible. I have no interest.”
“You do not but your soul does. I received a request and approved it. You have been looking for me.”
“I have not been looking for you specifically. I wanted to find something I can identify with, the source of spiritual truth that can guide me to discover myself.”
“Look no more.”
“I never aimed at joining a nation with such hard history!”
“Surprise!..Are you turning me down solely on prejudice?”
“Sorry. I did not mean to be rude.”
“Don’t sweat it, I’ve heard much worse! But let me ask you something. Did you plan on marrying an American, moving to another continent and raising your family in English?”
“No. It just happened this way.”
“Well, I am happening to you right now. And I am all continents as a whole, I am all languages at once, and I have loved you even before you came to me.”
“But I did not come to you!”
“Potayto, potahto. Your soul decides what it needs and where it belongs. Let me ask you again: do you like to swim?”
“Yes.”
“But it appears to me that you are not a strong swimmer?”
“Correct.”
“Yet you jump in any lake, river or pond that comes your way?”
“Right.”
“How is it that you are not afraid of drowning?”
“When I’m tired, I turn and lay on my back to rest.”
“How can you trust the water to hold you afloat?”
“I did it once when I was a child and then I knew.”
“So you had to let go of your doubts and fears to give it a try?”
“Yes. But it is so much easier when you are a child.”
“True. But you are my child now and I am more trustworthy than any body of water. In fact, I was, among other things, the water of the lake you floated on top of, like a star, for the first time. You think you should try me?”
He stretched His arms and they became a river. I wanted to resist the impulsive need to lay on top of the stream and let it carry me… I tried to be a Norse maiden with a sword, in armour…
But something in me, something more profound than any imagery or reasoning of mind, was tired of making decisions, protecting myself, choosing my path. This something splashed excitedly deep inside of me, in the hidden reservoir of mystery, and I suddenly realised that it was related to the river of God. And then I was already but a leaf parting from its tree, a leaf on its way to this water. “Complete trust”, murmured the river toward me. “Complete trust”, echoed my soul.
My new/old God smiled at me from the river and from the riverbanks and from the sky, when He became a breeze that gently lowered me on top of the waters of Himself. And so it begun.
