We’ve all heard a lot about God
We are told he knows when you are good or bad
We are told he knows when you are asleep or awake
We are told he does not overlook anyone, even by mistake
So God here I am today
Not in the form of singing or praying
Just to chat, I hope that’s okay.
See God there’s a few things I’ve had on my mind
That I thought I might as well ask
Because who better to ask than the almighty, all encompassing man or woman himself
See the world today is a rigid architecture of disagreement and conflict
And frankly I want to know why
I want to know why there are
Enemies filled with apathy
Who use their guns not their hearts
To murder innocence and hope
And not only their own but all those around them.
I walk like I am on a tightrope
Trying to understand the red filled colours of the kaleidoscope
Of the composition of war.
How do you balance the blue skies and the red blood?
Are the scales too heavy to hold them both equally?
So many questions and I’ve only just begun.
When I was younger I was told you were everywhere,
Over here and over there
Constantly watching me and my actions.
As a little girl of course I believed this.
I believed that the light radiating from the white clouds
Was a person
Who could talk and walk and write.
I later learned every religion teacher’s favourite words
An omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent being.
And yes at the time I believed you were overseeing
Everything I was doing and protecting me.
As I’ve gotten older I start to wonder where all the protection went.
As per usual, things got harder as I got older
And I’ve still got my whole life to live
I can’t help but wonder if you’re going to be there with me forever
Do you pick and choose whom you shield from the suffering?
I’ve never been told you do,
In actual fact I’ve been told you protect everyone
But. I don’t know if you do.
See why haven’t you protected all your other children?
The 1.5 million in the Holocaust
The thousands in Syria,
Where were you then?
And where are you now?
Can you give me a reason or are these questions redundant
Because maybe all I do is talk to myself and ask questions and questions and questions
Digging myself further and further into a perpetual hole of oblivion.
And of course the biggest most frequent question is
Why do good things happen to bad people?
I know you can’t give me an answer but I wish you would
Tell me why the one’s who do good
Have their lives snatched from them
Like an empty gun in a warzone
Like a flickering light in a room of darkness
The futility of these things
All encompass how it takes a second for everything to stop.
What happens when you fall?
The people underneath
The symphony of their heart beat
Has the music stopped or does it continue forever
Does darkness prevail or do the gates of piety open
I read a book that the words blur
A book you wrote
But what happens when the words sound more like a curse than a promise
How do I continue to have hope?
We call you kind and merciful
But I look around and see anything but kindness.
But is it about you? Or is it about me?
And my destiny and my reality
Of the world and the person that I want to be.
We are told good things happen those who wait
I’ve been waiting long enough
So now I’m gonna call your bluff
Because is it really about what that person up there does
Or about we do?
Just like the way Beethoven’s fingers touched the piano
Just like the way the soldiers fingers touch the trigger
It’s a maze of free will and the person who is beside me
I write in my diary because
To me, no one can help me but me.
I guess I don’t have an answer to that either
But all I can say to the person up there is
Thank you for everything you’ve done for me
And please stay close to me
But I am going to get myself to where I want to be
And I don’t know if you’re there, or where you are
But we need to take responsibility
For our actions
We need to stand up and do something about
The animosity and inequality
Because when it comes down to it we are the one’s
Who make the difference.
We’ve all heard of the butterfly effect
Where the simplest flutter of one’s wings
Can create an earthquake on the other side of the world
And it all shows that the smallest act
Really does have an impact
We need to stop being the worries
And start being the warriors
Like soldiers preparing for a battle
We need to combat the injustice.
And so God,
I don’t know if you’re real
You may for all I know,
Know my destiny
But we are going to use our freedom of choice
To create a world full of love and passion
And ultimately empathy.